I have a confession: I’m afraid of becoming a doctor
To be honest its not what I’ve always wanted to be… even when I got older and realized I had moderate ability with the sciences, I really wanted to be a comedian.
Which sounds STUPID but that’s what I wanted
I wanted to act in movies and maybe even have a TV show one day. I wanted to foray into funny music. There was a lot I wanted to do.
But I can’t do that.
To be an actor requires practice, which I currently am unable to attain because of my course load.
I could be a comedian, and do standup, but I would first have to get a place to let me perform it.
And making music isn’t really something I’m capable of. I can sing but writing and playing actual music is where I’d get hung up
However, if I had it my way, even though I am afraid of medicine, I would do it all.
Because the reason I’m becoming a doctor is to help people. It was why I wanted to be a comedian… I like making people feel better. And the reason I chose psychiatry specifically is because I thought I could handle the broken and help them out of their specific darkness.
So maybe down the line I can try to do theatre. Maybe I can still be an actor. But right now I’m not sure that’s plausible. And that makes me very angry.